Science tells me God must exist.  My mind tells me I will never understand God.  And my heart tells me I am not meant to.  – Angels and Demons, Dan Brown

Any church that ignores reality will not survive.  – Unsure

All faiths are admonitions that there is something which we cannot understand, something to which we are accountable.  – Angels and Demons, Dan Brown

Sometimes divine revelation means simply means adjusting your brain to hear what your heart already knows.  Angels and Demons, Dan Brown

While an inherent truth may exist, it will certainly not always be known to us due to our limitation of being inside the system.  Truth can only be known from the outside or in retrospect.  There may be missing pieces of information, incorrect assumptions, misunderstandings, all circumstances which make “truth” hard to see.  Perhaps rather than calling it truth we could call it description, perception, personal feeling or opinion.  Perhaps the only falseness is a conscious lie.  Perhaps true and false don’t exist in and off themselves, but are merely a describing or failure to so so of conditions at the present time.

Ah … the frustration of being responsible for the attainment of my personal joy.  To look  nowehere else but to myself, to have no one to blame when things don’t work, to have no one to be upset at when I feel dissatisfied. 

Ahhhh…to have it all be up to me!  The constant reach, the moving past the disappointments, the perseverence despite the blockages.  Following your bliss is no easy task.

“If one’s actions are honest, one does not need the predated confidence of others, only their rational perception.” – Atlas Shrugged

“Contradictions do not exist.  Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises.  You will find that one of them is wrong. ” – Atlas Shrugged

He would often say the exact opposite of what he had said on a previous occasion, yet both would be right. – War and Peace

Who am I?  Am I someone who is brough to tears at the joy of someone else’s success and happiness?   Do I appreciate their work and dedication, their courage and conviction, their self-appointed goal of fulfilling their dream?  Do I respect them for all the “failures” they have ignored? 

Am I someone who only sees my own failure when looking at someone else’s success?Do I look at someone else’s work and criticise it?  Do I think about how I would have done it better?  

If someone gave me the opportunity to rise up to my potential, would I?

“One surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked …The man who lies to the world is the world’s slave from then on.”

“If one’s actions are honest, one does not need the predated confidence of others, only their rational perception.”

“Contradictions do not exist.  Whenever you think you are facing a contradiction, check your premises.  You will find that one of them is wrong. “

“Whenever a man denounces the mind, it is because his goal is of a nature the mind would not permit him to confess. “

“Did it ever occur to you … that there is no conflict of interest among men, neither in business nor in trade nor in their most personal desires – if they omit the irrational from their view of the practical?  There is no conflict, and no call for sacrifice, and no man is a threat to the aims of another if men understand that reality is an absolute not to be faked, that lies do not work, that the unearned cannot be had, that the undeserved cannot be given, that the destruction of a value which is, will not bring value to that which isn’t…But men will not cease to desire the impossible and will not lose their longing to destroy – so long as self-destruction and self-sacrifice are preached to them as the practical means of achieving the happiness of the recipients.” 

“One surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked …The man who lies to the world is the world’s slave from then on. ”

We are those who do not disconnect the values of their minds from the actions of their bodies.

But never mind that natural catastrophe occurs as a result of living on something that is also alive and therefore moves.  What kind of God would allow for tidal waves?  Maybe the kind that wants us to realize the amazing power that could be harnessd and used to power the entire planet.  Why allow for genoside and war?  Maybe because knowing of it happening to one person at a time hasn’t done the trick for us.  Maybe seeing the ugliness of killing on such a scale we may once and for all decide to stop.  And yet … we continue to kill and blame God for our actions.  And hunger?  Maybe he wants to learn how to share. 

But what of him trying to communicate or whisper a few words into someone’s ear?  Never mind the scientist who tells us what will happen should we continue down this path.  Never mind the pacifist who tells us war is not the way.  Never mind the humanitarian who organizes food donations to the poor.  These are just people. 

And the person who shouts from the top of his lungs that God is speaking to him?  We have a special place for him:  the mental institution.

 When I respond this way to my life, I am its creator.  I am, in a sense, a minor god of my own little universe, responsible in some way for all that goes on in it.  I recognize my divinity to the ants and my power over everything around me.  I know a kind word or gesture at the right time to the right person can restore that person’s faith in human kindness as it has done to me in my own dark times.  It becomes my responsibility to stop the spreading of the anger of others.  I recognize my ability of non-response to other’s affronts when kindness is outside of my reach, as another’s non-response to my anger has reflected back to me the ugliness of my own negativity. 

 If I am poor it is because I do not wish to change.  If I get fired it is because I do poor work or because I do not enjoy it.  “Failure” becomes of my own doing; my failure is in failing to learn the lesson.  So I try again and learning the lesson becomes my responsibility.  Relationships become about learning about myself, about seeing the things within me which need growth so that I may be a better person within all relationships, especially the one I have with myself.  By learning how to be the best me with myself, I will be the best me with others.  By learning how to love myself enough to honor my own pesonal truth I realize that I need no longer be afraid of other’s hurting me.  So, I learn how to love others for who they are, not for how they make me feel or what they do for me.  I stop being afraid that they will leave me.  Should they chose to do so it will be because they must follow their own path to self-love and I wish for them to find it.  

When I am the small god of my own little world I see how I may be at least indirectly contributing for each and every one of the world’s problems.   Perhaps I do not commit any crimes.  Now.  But when I was a little girl, I once stole a ring, fruit and flowers from other people’s yards, money out of my mother’s purse, and probably a few other things I can’t remember now.  I don’t have the need to commit any crimes now, but I also know that if I couldn’t get a job or lived in a place where I couldn’t buy food, I would not think twice about stealing it; I recognize my good fortune.  As much as I know that I hate killing an insect, I would not hesitate to kill someone to save my or a loved one’s life. 

Without condoning crime, I understand that extreme conditions create extreme behavior, and different personalities have different thresholds.  The injuries that one soul can sustain can be unthinkable to others and what makes certain people break can be a walk in the park for others; the worse the damage to the soul, the worse the crime.  What do I have to do with that murder last week?  Most likely nothing.  Unless he was that man whom I cursed under my breath.  He heard me; one of the many insults compounded over the course of a long time.  He finally snapped.  Is it my fault?  According to a person who believes him/herself responsible for their own lives, of course not.  He is ultimately responsible for his actions.  But perhaps holding the door open for him and giving him a smile might have prevented the misfortune.  One might never know.  

I don’t abuse people.  Now.  But was I not young once and directed all the anger I had towards my parents to my sisters?  Did it hurt them any less when I hit them just because I was young?  While they may forgive me now, the damage I inflicted upon them then might still be playing out in their lives now.  Is abuse not also a relative term?  What do I have to do with the abuser?  Perhaps nothing directly, although either one of my sisters could have used my abuse towards them as an excuse to grow us to be abusive people.  If I had a child and knew that this child would become an abuser unless I loved, loved, loved him and showed him respect, I would make sure to give him all the love and respect I had in me.  In a world full of individuals who practice the “I am responsible for the sake of the world” we would all love and respect one another, because we would know what happens otherwise: crime and abuse.        

I may not partake in genocide, but had I not been prejudiced against others because they were different?  I am fortunate because I live in a time and place where we do not allow for such atrocities, but could I not just as easily be living in a country where neighboring villages still kill one another because of different beliefs?  Perhaps I do not look at race, perhaps I do not look at religion, but what about lifestyle.  Do I not look at excessive lifestyles and inwardly shake my head at the waste, the lack of true meaning?  When I see my very small responsibility for the fact that groups of people are still killing each other, I recognize that type of thinking to an excessive degree.  I live in the world of plenty, where I have the freedom to think, say and do as I please.  We have institutions to ensure my ability to do so without fear of being punished for it.  Every time a crime of hate occurs, whether to an individual or a group, I recognize the type of intolerant thinking I still practice.  My disapproval at someone driving a Hummer, could just as easily be my dislike for the type of robes that someone wears.  I may not kill over it, but it is that type of intolerant thinking that is at the root of the problem.  The killing for it is the thought magnified and matter of degree.  Because i recognize my own thinking in it, I practice tolerance.  When I fail to do so I generally know it.   

When I am the god of my little world, I am responsible for the state of the environment.  Every time I use natural products I know I am supporting companies which support the environment.  Every time I buy non-recycled paper towels over using a cloth towel, I know I am supporting someone who cuts down trees in order to produce more paper towels.  Every time I throw away a plastic bottle I know I am just producing more and more trash and poisoning the ground.  Every time I put gas in my car, I know I am supporting the oil companies and polluting the air I breathe.  Etc. and so on.  When I am responsible for the death of all those ants, I recognize how powerful I am.